I Am Me

Because of them

It’s true.

As you grow older, you find a new fondness of your family.

16 year old me would’ve rolled her eyes and faithfully said “all of them are so annoying. No one is normal”.

And while, no one may be normal, everyone is as they are.

And I love them for it.

I’ve learned from them.

I’m myself because of them.

I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

I advocate and stick up for the people I love and for what I believe in. Because of my Grandma. I drink peppermint tea because I remember her loving it in Italy and stealing a bunch of it from a hotel. I love snuggling real close to the people I love because we used to every night for years, while watching TV in her one-person floral chair. I like looking my best (some days) because she looks amazing every time she leaves the house. I love giving people cards on special occasions and writing heartfelt messages in them, because I cherish and keep all of the ones my grandma have given me over the years. I’m a night owl, not a morning person. Just like my grandma. (Happy Birthday Grandma! Everyone wish my Grandma a happy Birthday, she loves attention!)

I’m strong. Because of my dad. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. I’ve come to appreciate routine after understanding his. Watching movies is important to me, but good movies. Movies that were made well. Because that’s what we always did together. I am grateful for his rules growing up, but especially having limited sleepovers and always needing to eat dinner at home. Because I realized I don’t even like sleepovers and I came to appreciate having a family that sits together at the table for dinner. I can hold my emotions in, even if its not the best thing to do. Because he does too. I understand sarcasm, and once I’m in a funny mood, it lasts. We’re good at making people laugh. The Thanksgiving Day Parade is a must-watch, because it’s important to my dad. I’m a pretty good driver and always go 10 over the speed limit because my dad told me I could when he taught me. I love reading and writing, maybe because he’s an English Teacher. And I don’t like staying at social gatherings very long. We like naps and the AC. I’m emotional, philosophical, strong, stubborn and funny. Just like my dad.

My mom taught me to be myself. Never be ashamed, or embarrassed. “Live life for you, and no one else” is what she’d always say. I learned how to navigate through tough friendships and that late night sadness. She aided me through my breakup. Because she’s like having a friend. I get headaches often, thankfully from my mom :). I learned to say yes more, maybe because she hardly told me no. Watching TV shows with someone is a love language, because that was ours. And eating dinner on the couch is a treat. I love chocolate milk because it reminds me of my childhood with her, how shed wake me up with it and put me to bed with it every single night. Literally until I was 15. I hate loud mouth sounds because she does too. I hate talking on the phone, because I used to cry hearing her voice when I missed her, when I was little. I am creative because my mom is too. I love wearing fun, bright colors because my mom always did. And I can be a little weird and ditsy sometimes. Just like my mom.

I always feel protected and supported. Because of my sister. Quality time is my love language, because she’d always plan special things for her and I to do together. She taught me that planning is important, but I’m still working on that. I do anything that I want to do, as long as it doesn’t hurt myself, my future, or the people around me. Because she said that to me one day. I love traveling because I’ve had to travel so much, just to see her. She taught me independence, maturity, and grace. Hiking is my favorite exercise because she’d always take me and tell me about our families history. I hate goodbyes because every time she left, I’d cry so hard. I still do. I’ve known skin care and makeup ever since I was little, because I used to steal all of her things. I have to make sure my outfit actually looks good before leaving, because if I was with Meghan I know she’d look me up and down and be the judge of that. I can understand everyone, imagine myself in their shoes and feel empathy, because she can too. I can be friendly to everyone, but also lose my temper quick. Just like my sister.

I have a big heart. Because of my brother. I move with love because his heart over takes him. I learned how to penny board because I thought he was so cool skateboarding. I started a journal early on, because I used to sneak into his room and read his when he wasn’t home. I love sour candy and spicy snacks and WaWa breakfast sandwiches because they all remind me of him. I’m a good listener because he tells me everything. Trust is important in relationships. I love learning and getting into deep talks, especially with him. I’m dramatic because he’s the most. I’m a dog person because I remember how excited I was when he interrupted my shower, telling me “Mom said yes! Get out! We’re going now!” And we went on a late, school night drive to pick up this puppy impromptu after nagging at her for days. Avatar is my favorite movie, and I love eating crabs. I’m indecisive. I love hard. Just like my brother.

My little brother taught me I can be good at anything if I put my mind to it. Because he’s good at everything. He taught me to stick to my word, because he remembers everything. It’s okay to be a man of routine, re watch the same shows, and eat the same things. It’s easier that way. He lives an easy life. He taught me don’t take anything for granted, and that time goes by quick. Watching him grow up so fast hurt my heart but maybe it would’ve slowed down, if I spent more intentional time with him. I love animals and wildlife, because seeing it through his eyes was pretty cool. I learned sometimes you have to teach people the hard way, and if you tell kids Disney World is under water, they’ll learn how to hold their breath in the pool faster. I taught him how to skateboard, after watching my older brother do it for years. But he taught me wearing a helmet really does save lives.

I love my family so much. We are all tangled messes, knotted into one another whether we like to admit it or not.

But I’ve learned to tie it tighter. And to love it.

I am me because of them.