Friends ARE Food

because both are fuel

Let me set the scene for you, my fellow readers. It is noon on a Monday. The air that kisses my skin, drafting through the curtains is one of season change. With all of the windows open, I hear distant playful screams of kids playing outside on school courts underneath my downstairs neighbor’s loud music. Liz is in the kitchen preparing Mofongo; a Puerto Rican entree for our dinner party tonight. Josh, my other roommate came home early today unexpetedly, feeling under the weather. Liz and I were pleasantly surprised, for the third character to join us, share this crisp afternoon cozily, at home. I summoned Josh to help me impromptu remove my dark curtains that have been hanging over my bed. The room feels so much lighter. I feel as if I just shedded some heavy shadows that were hanging over my head. Literally.

As for me, dear reader, am sitting on the couch talking to you. I hear my roommates feet away from me with the comforting noises of easy conversation over the slices and mashes on cutting boards at the counter. Still, roaring kids play and music streams on.

I was just about to say to you while my roommates said aloud in a more natural manner:

Liz lightly “This is so nice. All of us home together.”

And Josh swiftly “Working together, helping eachother out.”

And then Liz trailed off to talk about her boyfriend and book club.

This is a good Monday. Monday in our home is a day for Food and Friends. Since I’ve moved in- its been a tradition to have a weekly culture dinner party. This is our 4th week. Country: Puerto Rico. I am on duty for a side dish and my chosen battle today is Arroz con Ganzuelos. I’ll let you know how it goes, reader. (P.s. Reader, success has ensued once again).

Last week was Egypt. My jobs were drinks & dessert. I made a non-alchoholic hibiscus mint tea and Basbousa, a syrup coconutty cake type thing. Baking the Basbousa was intimidating but I was delightfully surprised that everyone else was delightfully surprised! I was voted the best dish of the night and my roommates ended up eating it for breakfast through out the week. It was good but, I don’t like coconut. Silly me!

Next week will be my choice of Country and entree. I am choosing Poland and plan to call my grandma for home made recipes.

We dress up in inspired themed clothing, listen to the music derived from each region and bask in the scents of home made food from all around the world as we invite a couple of our closest friends in to enjoy. How delectable, dear reader! Would you like to join?

Anyways, I’ve been thinking lately, fellow reader (do you feel shy being paid attention to so often?) how food and friends have been incredibly important values for me to understand and embody in a healthy manner. You may ask, what does embodyng food or friends even mean, dear author? Well, I am not sure exactly, that is just the word I shall choose to go with and you must understand what I am trying to say.

But yes, I may continue anywho. Something I admire and am proud of, after analyzing all of my siblings and I is how we all keep friends for life. My dad does this thing where he pretends he still doesn’t know any of our friends names, even after all of this time. It’s honestly realy annoying, but he is the same way. I’m proud of how my dad has had the same tight-knit group pf friends since as long as I can remember. I was at the Dodgers vs. Cubs game this week where they made 4 home runs in the first inning. It was a game unlike any othber I’ve been to and I thought to text my dad’s best friend, my Uncle. I was on facetime with my little brother last week and he said that exact sentence to me “We all know how much you like friends."I do. I’ve actually come to realize, “friend” is the highest term of endearment withi my family. My grandma and I have always signed our cards off as “From your BFF”. You can tell if my dad is proud of you in any given moment if he lets out a belly laugh and exclaims “Friend!” toward you. Meghan, my sister and I are best friends and I’m trying to convince my little brother to go to USC so he can live by me and be my friend. Friends are important to me, to us.

A couple of days ago was a really hard day for me. I was on facetime back and forth with all of my long distance friends that I’ve become attached to. They know exactly what I want to hear, but what I need to hear, they each understand me and where I am always coming from without having to over explain myself. They always answer instantly, ready to create space for me.

That same night I walked into my friends kitchen, alittle later than the time I was expected. Sitting around the dining table was 4 girls I’ve made friends with. I instantly felt warm, invited, in the right place. They were ready to fill up my glass with wine while also filling me up with validation and respect as I told a long story about my tumultupous evening. To be surrounded by people, ready to give you their love is an enriching feeling. You know, maybe love can be found in everything, in everybody, everywhere. You just have to be willing to jump into it.

Last night, I was in the middle of putting away my first load of laundry as I peaked out of the window to notice just how beautiful the sun was setting. I quickly stopped what I was doing, grabbed my airpods and ran out the door. If you have long-distance friendships then you may know, reader, just how much of your time is filled with various voice memos. Voice Memos are the new Spotify. There was an impending fifteen minute one from my best friend, Electra. For 15 minutes, I walked over this beautiful bridge during sunset, listening to a motivational speech, made for me and me only. What a lucky experience I get to sink myself in to? Friends who are willing to talk for fifteen minutes straight, on just how amazing you are and will be. But, following another long day, Josh offered to buy me Pho and we ate it together, in silence, him knowing my capacity was on the floor. And only then did I realize, support can be screamed or shown in silence.

An old friend called me out of nowhere last week to catch up and connect. We talked for over an hour. A sentence that surprised me that I’ve (obviously) been festering over: “You’ve always been a social butterfly.” For some reason, I never thought that to be true.

Life wasn’t always like this dear reader. I have spent many years questioning my social awkwardness and ability to hold space for others. There are many journal pages stored underneath my bed consisting of a one-way conversation contemplating my friendships. For a couple of years, I retreated into my self, befriended myself and wondered if other friends would ever compare. I wondered if I even had the capacity to be a good friend to them, too. Also, do all friends need to benefit your life, or can I simply love them for who they are? It took alot of self study (svadhyaya- a yogic practice) and it was an interesting thing to overcome, making friends that went past the surface level. For a while, honestly, I was nervous I’d never have bridesmaids. Right now, my 24 year old self is eager to see all of my best friends lined up, smiles wide, dressed up, for me.

This all may sound silly to you, dear reader, if you’ve never had any spare moment where you had to second guess your friendships. And here, I want to celebrate your luckiness. Female friendships are extremely difficult to navigate.

I don’t have the answers on how this happened. But what I do know is that I would take my shoes off in the middle of New York City and offer them to my friend if she complained of her feet hurting. I know she wouldnt accept, but I still would offer with my whole chest. I know that when my friend sends me an entire photo album of outfit options for her nerve-wracking event, I imagine the seams sitting on my very own skin and how comfortable I would be. I know that when I get a text explaining a sudden break-up has taken place, I am ready to put adequate miles on my car, with red nail polish and pink wine in stow.

I am extremely grateful to be… grateful for my friends. For every one in my life surroundng me. It is admirable on their part, just how grateful how I am.

The secrets aren’t unlocked but I’ve been toying over the idea that maybe the more you cultivate love, the more love fosters. The more you foster love, the more love culivates. An ode to ambiguity?

Anyways thats enough of me *imagine I’m ending a voice memo*

Tell me what’s up with you, dear reader!

And as my dad always says,

“Friend.”

(P.p.s. Dear reader, reading this back I realized I dropped the ball on showcasing my love and growth with food. Just know, I love food just as much as my friends. Both are delicious, fueling and quite necessary to daily life.)

(P.p.p.s. As I finished typing the last p.p.s. I opened a video on my phone of a butternut squash pasta recipe and Liz, next to me, said unknowingly “Dude, I feel like you’ve been fulfilling your wish to cook more since you moved in.”

And if that doesn’t support my case at all, folks.

See you next time, looooove youuuuuu.